The Rock Relic

The Worst Rock Song EVER?!?

by Chuck Hinson on August 18th, 2007

Rockaholics, have you ever run across a rock-n-roll ditty that was so bad that, whenever you’d put it on the turntable, the stylus left the record of its own accord?
Okay, then … consider this a request test: What’s the worst rock song that you’ve ever heard? To getcha started, here are a few of the Relic’s non-faves:

IT’S NICE TO BE ALIVE by Kip and Ken (the “B” side of Trouble With A Woman). Geez … it just sounded goofy: “The way you look, the way you smell-mell-mell/ the way you make me feel so well-well-well …” It was like our parents wrote it and added some crappy vocals …

DECK OF CARDS by Wink Martindale. Now, Wink’s a fantastic announcer, but he had no business being in the recording studio! Noted by many polls as being “the worst rock record of all time.”

TURKEY TROT by Ian and the Zodiacs. This fab Liverpool group, who gave the world Livin’, Lovin’ Wreck and a cool version of Gershwin’s It Ain’t Necessarily So really screwed up with this old rag. The bridge was “Shoo, shoo, gobble-gobble-diddley”. Sheesh …

SOMEBODY’S BEEN MESSIN’ by Maxine Brown.  The entire title, Somebody’s Been Messin’ (With My Thing), was never heard on mainstream radio (though she’d done some great covers with R&B legend Chuck Jackson).  Yup … the lyrics were a little … uh, suggestive, to put it mildly.  They were simple, a bit redundant … but made a lot of teen boys wanna … welllllllll, you knowwwwwwww …

DOWNTOWN by Mrs. Miller. Though she was considered a “novelty” act (she was an elderly woman who sounded like she should’ve been an alto in a church choir), this song actually made it into the Top 100! Still, she should’ve been “Nearer, My God, To Thee” and “Farther Away from Rock Music than ever”.

Any others out there? I’m lookin’ for “tunes” between the years of 1956 and 1969, mostly. Give me a shout-out if you’ve got one to get outta your head … and I’ll print ‘em here as fair warning to the rock world, okay??

TAKING INTO ACCOUNT …

Y’know, some of these acts coulda lasted a bit longer if they’d gotten hold of a decent accounting firm to handle their finances (heck … that’s true with any act!).  Too many of the “one-hit-wonders” fizzled back-in-the-day because they (or unscrupulousand-don’t-ask-me-to-say-that-word-again-please managers) took their money and ran with it.
So good accounting’s essential if you really wanna grow … and one of the most reliable firms is the Los Angeles Accounting group at Allen Barron, Inc.
Hey … they’re not just California, though. Sure, they provide CPA, financial, legal and management advisory services to businesses throughout sunny Southern California … but they also cover the whole USA, and have international clients around the globe!
So, whether ya want reviews, analyses, a QuickBooks setup or the whole plate of services, they’ll serve ‘em up for you, and get the most of every buck you’ve got!
C’mon … give ‘em a click now … believe me, your financial stability (not to mention confidence!) will grow …

Well, that’s it for this edition. Until next time, remember to check out the fine folks at Allen Barron, Inc (click the link!) … and keep your eyes on the skies, your feet on the ground, your heart with the music, and I’ll see ya on the flip side!

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POSTED IN: '70s rock, 60's rock, British Invasion, Uncategorized, classic rock